I haven’t had a lot of passion to write lately because to be honest.. what I’m feeling isn’t anything I want to write about. This blog is meant to be a source of inspiration and positivity and I’m feeling quite the opposite about life right now.
I’m stuck between the dreadful, “rock and a hard place” it seems. I’m looking at picking up a 40+ hour a week job in an industry I said I would never go back to. I will also be working another part time job to fill the evenings and weekends so we can finally have enough to get moved into a new place.
We’ve been trying to fathom the idea of moving for the last year now and it still hasn’t happened. Portland is pretty well populated, not leaving a lot of places open that are affordable or in a good neighborhood. Most places are asking for a large security deposit, pet deposits, first AND last month’s rent, leaving us with what seems like an impossible task of coughing up $4k or more just to get moved into a new home. It might sound easy to some, but when you’re already living paycheck to paycheck, this amount is quite daunting.
I know that with our determination and work ethic we’ll make it happen, but I can’t help but feel like I’m about to serve a prison sentence by going back to work for corporate America. I’m desperately hoping I can find something less soul-draining before September starts… or that I can become the female John Dillinger and go a crime spree across the country while robbing banks.
I kid.. kind of.
Tattooed Martha isn’t going anywhere though. It just means I’ll have to work that much harder in the few spare moments I get throughout the week. Just be patient with me and continue to comment, email me, and share posts because that’s truly the fire that keeps me going!
I hope everyone has an amazing weekend and feel free to share any bank robbing tips and tricks below! 😉
Allissa Davis says
You kids are not alone!! Being self employed myself, I know what trials & tribulations you speak of. It was refreshing to read this & know that I am not alone. Thank you for sharing Sasha!!! <3
Sasha says
Thanks Allissa! I’m hoping that this will only be temporary for me until we get settled into a new place and debt-free!
Bruce says
Hang in there. Things have a way of working themselves out. My oldest is going to college in one year and I’m looking at a minimum of $60000 for a four year degree. Sucks to be me. But it gives me a great excuse for getting to the bottom of that Sailor Jerry bottle! Keep up the good work. You inspire a lot more people than you realize. 🙂
Sasha says
Haha I foresee a lot of rum in my future as well Bruce! Thank you so much for your comment.. it not only made my day, but is something that will stick with me for quite some time and continue to push me to make Tattooed Martha a fulltime career. Sending love and luck (lotto anyone?) your way!
Bruce says
It gets better. The day after I posted this my oldest informed me he tried to commit suicide. He is currently getting treatment (voluntarily) for severe depression and is coming home this Friday in a MUCH better state of mind. I am very excited and am glad I have run into your site as a little slice of positivity in my life. Thank you for being you. 🙂
Sasha says
Wow.. Bruce I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve definitely been there myself and I know how tough it is to come out of such a dark place. It sounds like he’s back on a positive path though. Sending my love your way and thank you for your kind words always! 🙂
Brittany says
I feel your pain. I work for corporate America and am also completely soul drained after just two years. It’s incredible how soul-sucking it really is… But I like having a house and being able to provide for my family. You have to put your heart in to the things you love more and more to counter the incredulous weight of the work week. It’s killing us. Anyway, I love reading your blog. And your drink recipes…of course!! Haha I’m a sailor girl. 😉 Here’s to being positive! At least if you have to get a job, you know you’re doing it for all the right reasons, no matter how terrible it is and who knows, maybe you’ll make some new friends that make it that much better. :*
Sasha says
Thank you so much for your kind words Brittany! I hope for both of us that we can find another (well paid) path to provide for ourselves and family. I think a lot of what I’m feeling is fear.. fear of losing my creative spark, happiness, and passion, which are all the elements that directly fuel this blog. Based on the comments though, we’re definitely not alone so regardless of the next career path I take I’ll continue to write about it and share my experiences in hopes that it encourages others to work hard while also pursuing their true passion. And hopefully one day that passion can become a well paid career as well! 😉
Rach says
Chin up, fabulous lady, working can surely suck but it pays for the good things and that’s what you have to remember. I do, or at least I try to! 😉 xxxxxx
Sasha says
Thank you! I’m trying to keep in mind all the positives of having more income not only for us but for the blog as well.. just wish that it could be doing something more rewarding! 🙁
Kristin Pendegraft says
I feel your pain. I work in this so called “Corporate America”. Every day I feel more drained and more frustrated. The days and all the time away from my kids, not only physically but also mentally eats away at me. I keep hoping eventually something will change.
Sasha says
I really hope you’re able to find something more rewarding as well Kristin. I’m not looking forward to this change because I remember how unhappy and exhausted I felt all the time. It really affected my relationships, friendships, and health. Our lives are too short to be spent that way so I’m still out there looking for other opportunities that aren’t quite as.. depressing, for lack of a better word. It seems we’re definitely not alone though based on the response back on this post so it’s really fueling me to find creative paths not only for myself but others as well. Keep kicking ass in the meantime! We’ve got this!
Bobbie says
You can get a companion pet letter. They can’t charge a pet deposit or monthly rent if you have a companion pet.
Sasha says
That’s a great idea Bobbie! Thank you!
Valerie says
I know how you feel. I left corporate America last year to switch careers but it’s taking longer than I thought and now I’m back just to pay the bills. I do hope to be done soon so I can finally do something I know I’ll love.
Don’t feel discouraged, you have a lot of support and you’ll make it!
Sasha says
I appreciate the words of encouragement Valerie! I hope you find something you love too! Life is too short to spend it working in a miserable job!
Patricia Kimmel says
Hang in there beautiful! We always wonder how much more we can handle and it just keeps piling on…you and Bacon will make it through everything just fine. As long as you have each other (and Punk), what more do you need? You’ve always got the love and support of Nick and Krissy too!! Love you! Patricia
Sasha says
Thank you so much Patricia! It’s nice to know we have loved ones both near and far always looking out for us! I hope you’re enjoying your time with Nick, Krissy, and the kids this week!
Sam Frank says
Aw, sweetie, I had no idea things had gotten so frustratingly hard for you guys! I worked in an office job for five years, and it did a number on me too – and while I’m happy to be going back to school and changing careers to something I think is a better fit for me, it’s been tough whittling away my savings to pay the bills so my husband can keep saving for our retirement!
Can you look a little outside of the city? Do the prices or availability get any better if you go a little further out?
I’ll be sending lots of good thoughts your way!! You’ve been such a big inspiration and I hate to see you having a hard time and feeling down. *digital hugs*
Sasha says
Thank you Sam.. We’ve been expanding our search for a new place out a little further, but it’s still tough to find something with a reasonable price. Having a roommate will definitely help and we’re looking to buy after 2 or 3 years since rent continues to rise. I appreciate all the hugs, digital or otherwise, that I can get right now! Thank you for being such a great friend!